My Case Against Dating Apps
Dating apps, while easy and attractive to use, might contribute to the normalization of progressive approaches to dating that end up undermining monogamy and marriage. I will discuss how dating app usage affects courtship and leads to unhealthy attachment styles.
First, dating apps make it seem as if there is a never-ending stream of people to choose from and that the price for settling for just one person is too high. This leads to FOMO, or the fear of missing out, which makes people reluctant to commit to monogamous relationships out of fear of missing out on subsequent connections or experiences.
Consequently, dating apps make people less likely to engage in courtship since courtship is a form of investment that takes time and patience. The slow process of impressing and getting to know someone on a deeper level is often replaced by quick matching and texting.
Without realizing it, we might also end up internalizing the operational norms of dating apps. The act of “swiping” tends to normalize making snap judgments based on physical appearances. The app algorithms might also amplify biases by curating a particular kind of person to your feed, thus, reinforcing stereotypes based on attractiveness and other surface-level traits.
Users with unhealthy attachment styles seem to be the loudest crowd on dating apps. They often display an innate fear of intimacy and commitment. For such a person, the digital world offers an escape route and solace from the challenges and vulnerability that come with sustaining genuine connections and an environment where they can move from one relationship to another with a perceived sense of control. Surfing through the endless pool of users becomes a coping mechanism that fuels but does not address the psychological and spiritual problems that led to their fear of attachment.
Blending users seeking long-term relationships with those pursuing casual hookups could potentially have adverse effects on the former group. Individuals with avoidant attachment styles often shock and hurt those interested in long-term relationships by abruptly breaking ties with them when a semblance of emotional bondage occurs in their relationship. This perpetuates a harmful cycle, wherein victims may unintentionally adopt similar dating tendencies and strategies as their offenders, in an attempt to protect themselves from emotional pain.
Fundamentally, while dating apps offer convenience and accessibility, they also encourage avoidant attachment styles and behaviors that forfeit stable, long-term relationships or marriages. I encourage users to be aware of these dating app drawbacks and their vicious cycles that may lead to relationship failure and hurt.
-
The blogs published on this news site are created by contributors to the International Youth Coalition. The opinions, views, and statements expressed in these blogs belong solely to the respective authors and do not necessarily reflect the opinions or positions of the affiliated organization.